to the one who lost me...

Since im in such a fucked up mood
and a fucked up place
leme touch on you too boo
leme put u in ur place
see,
u really had me fucked up
for a good month or two
then i realized
that U
was doin U
and that I should do me
cause really
i dont think u
really even cared bout me
basically.
but now i see
And I saw
Myspace and Tagged
FB even Twitta
damn, shoulda known
cause just as its said
"If its too good to be true"
It probably is.
But im still pissed
more at me
well somedays more at
you.
I gave u my heart
said you'd keep it safe,
that was a mistake
shoulda known it
would break.
But babyboi
I dont regret those first
few weeks
everything was so
sweet
then i flew out
so we could meet,
bittersweet.
most people would die
just to feel that level
of high
happiness and joy
floatin on cloud nine.
pure love, devine.
and tho it didnt last
i believe it was true
due to circumstances
i know we couldnt follow
through.
but then you,
changed,
your feelings
rearranged.
became so cold,
sayin things that were bold
my world turned 'round
it was rocked
Now on this Facebook bullshit
Its me you got blocked.
that is so
not
the business.
We been cool to this point.
What up with the
bitchassness?
But I get it.
"she" probably didnt like it
so you had to hide it
forcin me to write this.
So with that
I release ME from YOU
hate to say
Still got luv for you boo
yeah its true
but not the love you coulda had
now that i look at things
it was pretty sad.
and i can laugh.
Thanks for that.

Dear.... (My Fuck You Letter)

this is dedicated to my so called Best Friend and all my "real" friends...

Dear...
I
(clears throat)
um, just dont understand it
I mean,
you were supposed to be
my best friend
DAMMIT!

Aside from everyone else
you were like a sister to me
All my secrets to confide
Been there for me
When I cried
How could you
Betray me!

Damn, I feel so lonely.

See even the others
I considered real friends
They, just like you
have stabbed me in the back
but then
really
its more like a stab in the heart
see I felt it in my chest
when my heart skipped a beat
and not the kind caused by love
but it was caused
from your deciet.

Shit, How could you do this to me?!

And I keep hearing
from others, the deep
secrets I intrusted in you.
and some i never expected
a real friend to
run their mouth and
gossip bout it like
fools.

As they run their mouths
and others form opnions
When in the end its
really nobody's business
dont you get it?
I mean if you trust in
someone cause you developed a bond,
and over 10 yrs
nothin has gone really wrong
and you know her dirt
and she knows your sorrows
that bond is supposed to last
for our forever, tomorrows.

Fuck, how could you be so shallow?

You know it might not
hurt as much
had it been bullshit talk
the run of the mill
"she dont know when to stop"
or even somethin like"she so self centered, she think she the best"
or "she can be annoyin' as ever!"

But no, you decided
to cut down to the marrow
expose my raw heart
and tell me now
do you feel you've availed?
So its, cause im makin changes
in my life for the better
finding self worth and happiness
gettin my shit together
maybe doin some things
quite out of my character
you judge me and
criticize me
to make you
feel better?!

Deep breath, calm down, this is just your Fuck You Letter.

Much better...

So needless to say
no matter what you have done
decisions you've made
bad choices you've fucked up on
I never judged you
I never got shady
I supported you always
Kept your secrets safewith me.
And that dont jus go
for you my "best friend"
But all the "real" bitches
I thought would ride wit me
to the end.

and now the only thing
left to do
Is some Spring Fuckin' Cleaning
Trashin bitches
like you.

Ok,smh... now I'm through.

~Jasara

Facebook Sex Status by John L. and Jasara T

Originally posted on our notes via facebook..

Wazzup yall I don't Know if yall remember the text sex poem i put up a while ago writtin by me and my girl Jasara... but n e ways we are at it again this time we literally did it on her facebook status thus coming up with this piece titled "Facebook Sex Status" enjoy...

Jasara Thompson: What u gon do? If I touch you, put my hands all ova you? If I took u 2 da crib jus me n u? You make me wana say, jus stay... jus take off ur clothes n jus lay bak...

John Lacarbiere III at 11:59am June 3 Funny you should say that, cuz I was thinking the same thing... guess you can call it a wet day dream... but to answer your question if you touch me... I might have to draw my weapon... see I keeps protection... but let’s turn fantasies to realities...let’s give you another reason to marry me... let's... make love

Jasara Thompson at 12:26pm June 3 love makin, you see is my specialty, I don’t jus love you down, I buckle knees, make u weak, put you to sleep give u more wet dreams than the ones that u speak of... course, you already know how I get down, sex thru text was our first go 'round, we've upgraded to a new "status" now, got 'em like wow! Let’s show 'em how John n J get down..

John Lacarbiere III at 1:38pm June 3 Well they should already know... but if you insist on a show than fasho... I plan to hit the 'G" status after this... you're gonna have to click "Like" after this... cuz ms... I'm in love with your Facebook... you can invade MySpace any day... if you follow I'll make you twitter and bookmark this page... Cuz I’m not afraid to log on... IM ya boy John... I hope your "laptop" is turned on

Jasara Thompson at 3:13pm June 3 My laptop is always turned on by you, but if u can’t get me on there I got my G1 too, so you can hit the G spot when u arrive at MySpace, show the many expressions my Facebook can make, UPDATE: im requestin you for a pillow fight, more like pillow talk, trending topic of the day: #JohnNJasaraRHot, and u know u the only to make my twit tweet, knock me off my feet, let’s get married boo, make this online romance complete.

John Lacarbiere III at 3:41pm June 3 I see... but all this cyber-sex is screwing with my hard drive... I see you're a "G1" well I'm a "Touch Pro" that's guaranteed to have you Sprint'N... but we'll just let the Nextel. But if that "T" mobile... I'll have my hold network behind you like Verizon... I'm tryin to reach a new horizon... Tryin to screw you till you lose signal...you had to dial zero... cuz you've reached the operator of the hot lines...I got mines and yours... I'm trying to make that kitty purr... ya heard...

Jasara Thompson at 4:12pm June 3 I never lose signal, cos yes ima G-1 day the whole world will see, you and me. Networkin is just the cover for us, we gon' make everybody wana learn how we keep it up, repeatedly bust, and trust, kitty purrs each time you tell me u wana erupt... I jus wana keep your soldier standin at attention, give him some attention, oh and did I mention all this attention is makin her eager, please don’t jus tease her, ok maybe a lil bit, real talk she know she like it

John Lacarbiere III at 4:27pm June 3 You know I gotta tease her... it adds to the anticipation of me getting deeper... I want it ripe enough for me to eat her... put it in my face so I can see her... They're like damn john's a freak... I leave um so shook... Well I'm known for having "Sex with my Notebook..." so imagine if I give an oral presentation... legs start shaking... causing ... More vibrations... masturbation in full placement... guaranteed to leave you naked but not naked cuz I'ma take it, bake it, watch it rise like cake mix, add a lil icing and have you taste it...

Jasara Thompson at 4:52pm June 3 I love when u tease her, spread her open and u become the Kat pleaser, and a pleaser is what ima be to you, lick the icing off cos I got a sweet tooth, fuk lickin tho I wana taste it all, deep throat it all the way down to the balls, yeah I know, they all like woah, jaws on the floor, John you said it we gon' give em a show, and like u said we got em shook, makin sure they gon' buy your "Sex with my Notebook".... but before my oral skills make u bust, ima flip the scrip, face down ass up...

John Lacarbiere III at 5:08pm June 3 "THAT"S THE WAY I LIKE TO FUCK" and trust... I aint a porn star but I act like one... it's lights, camera, action... all action... no acting...ass grabbin, kat smakin, clit tacklin, with passion... I got it mastered... and you got the fattest... now let’s see how many comments we get on this status...

Sorrow's song

Cot DAMN,
you see, it was supposed to be like this.
Things start turning my way, good fortune supposed to hit
i didnt expect it all at once, just come lil bit by lil bit
I aint tryin to be greedy, I just need a break.
I mean, ima go fuckin crazy here soon
I just dont know how much more of this shit I can take.
I try to stay optomistic, and try to give my all each day
but I'll be damned if shit blow up and I cant get a cot-damn thing
To go my way.
I just dont know what to do no mo'
Aint nothing much i can really say
dont let it be a shocker when i just up and walk away.
Lawd, just take me away,
Leme see skys of blue not grey
feel no pain, or stress or blue.
I just dont know what to do..what to do.
I surrender,
im through.

I know her

I seen her again today…
Smiling thru the pain
Not the physical this time
But the anguish in her heart
From staying

She smiles to give the notion
That everything is ok
When underneath it all she's hurting
Fighting inside as to why she stays.

She doesn't even realize
The effect it's had on her
The struggles, the pain
In the back of her mind remain
As if it all was a blur.

She doesn't truly see
The women she speaks on, is like she.
She's just as blinded in this
As he.
As she yearns for a life that's happy.

For years she let it be.

Keeping in the sin.
The shame of years past.
She doesn't even know who she is,
As the years
Have gone by too fast.

She's live a life controlled
Yet it doesn't feel that way
It's become the everyday norm
Unhappiness, frustration,Struggles, as if just another day.

And then one day it happens
The light emerges thru the grey
She realizes her worth
Like her life's rebirth,
Feeling stronger everyday.

As realization battles with complacency
Emerges a woman renewed.
As time goes on Her patience gone
2 years later, deciding what to do.

The decision isn't easy
She hasn't completely given in
Will it end, or will it survive?
The process is killing her inside.
She just wants true happiness in the end.

Txt Sex (adults only) Co-txt'd with poet Mr. John L.

(adult content)

Jasara(1:01 AM)I'm waiting as my anticipation lingers thinking of you and how u can work magic wit ur fingers...

John(1:11 AM)My fingers may work magic but the magic stick works wonders u would've thought I was Australian The way I go down under…

Jasara(1:27 AM)the way you go down-under...stand me when I say, it causes quivers makes my body shiver I enjoy livin in Australia everyday Well If things were my way...

John(1:32 AM)Things r ur way and I plan to give it to u in all ways all day always so let's play matter fact lets fuck cuz I had enough I'm ready to bust…

Jasara(1:39 AM)Now thats whassup!Cum ova here daddy,leme giv it 2 u,u aint gota ask

Jasara(1:40 AM)Coz all ths Cali lovin ima giv it to u, yes its true,wat u seein rite here baby,this is all you, so make it do what it do

John(1:48 AM)Well u might b from cali but im from the dirty and theres no limit to how dirty ill get. u name it I'm with it. Ill lick it stick it n e thing to keep u with me

Jasara(1:57 AM)Im with you baby, always n foreva even wit the miles between us No one else do me betta

Jasara(1:57 AM)No limit is right da biznez ima give you, ima fuck it and suck it and swallow it too.

John(2:05 AM)Well I hope u could swallow two possibly 3 cuz u know me I keeps it standing as long as udo the damn thing on these bed springs

Jasara(2:18 AM)Well it looks as though We gon be in a marathonAll night long, keep it strongIll keep her wet and warm

John(2:30 AM)No ill keep her warm and wet u could bet. as my tongue connects to the flesh u will scream baby yes. No stress yet u still pulling out ur hair. This sex is rare like seeing a nun bare

Jasara(2:35 AM)Mmmm baby yes I love the way you do thatNow flip me ova n Fuk me from the back.Dont hold back fuk me hard pull my hair and watch my cum come out every where

John(2:53 AM)As ur cum comes out everywhere I don't know if I wanna stare or continue to climb like stairs... Ooo shit this is it... Quick...

Jasara(3:05 AM)Oh yeah baby is this the oneYou bout to bust, I wana make u cum ima back up on it so you can hit it real deep oh yeah there you go I kno you love this p

Jasara(3:05 AM)ussy.. Jus as much as I love ur dick in me.... This marathons done, lets fall asleep, before we repeat.

**check him out @johnL23 and purchase his book "i write to..." and look out for the upcoming book "Sex with my notebook" where this poem and many others will be featured. **

Somehow

I dont know how it happend
how this came to be
but somehow he has come in
and completely raptured me

His charm has won me over
his smile is full of lenity.
somehow the ora of his being
has completely captured me

The attraction is extraordinary
the feeling is undescribable, see
somehow our evanescent moment
has completely elated me.

To defer another encounter...
Im tryin to remain patiently
somehow this separation
has completely anguished me.

Chance

It was by chance, that they met. Guard up, armor on, in defense stance, never would have thought. See, it came upon a summer evening, chill. Rollin by, on the fly, he said\

Hi.

Hesitation came and yet she gave in... it was somethin about him. Typically, she never gave a notion, never gave a damn coz she knew the ones that hang, was just no good. Trouble. Plus she had it going on no need to proceed to an addition, why add complication? But this cat was new, different and she thought, leme see whats up. It was a quick exchange, as he didnt have real time to spit game. She was diggin his swagger, his smile caught her eye... she thought.. he kinda fly! Somethin about him was familiar. She didnt know why, smilin tho, she kept on with her drive.

Moments passed and the spark was ignited as the conversation ensued for a good 30 minutes. Ok, Ok, so she was feelin his flava, damn near wanted to saiva, yet how, she thought, could this be. Maybe. Just Maybe. She soon realized, the familiarity was in he, was in she, as the signs were a match.

Completely.

Each day was filled with rapture.. consumed by her own thoughts of him. Even took time to spend with him, truly it was set off there. Her wall began to crumble, she lost her grip on her shield and she let the goodness of it all come in. It was almost a sin.

Days went on and she fought the urge to open up, yet when each thought came to pass, of him, she knew she was caught up. She wanted to tell him so bad, how it felt so good, to feel this way again. Long were the days of infatuation! Yet their she was standing in the middle of a twister of emotion. Now set in motion.

Could she break free?

Wondering if it was truly mutual, or if she was wrapped up in a fantasy. At times she didnt care, thought of his hands through her hair, the taste of his kiss, the passion he emits, made the unlikely, inevitable. She wanted him bad.

Knowing at the time this could never be, she would just have to enjoy him partially, and he the same. No games, just reality. So they take in every, minute of every time they are in company. If it is destiny, so will it be.

My Song

Why Do I Stay?

(My Song)

You said you aint gonna do me no wrong.
You said you aint gonna do me no harm.
You said your love for me come that strong.
So tell me what went wrong.
How could the love we share be true?
Unconditional. Not for me and you.
The falsehood of love make me sad and blue.

Why do I stay? Don't know why I do…

I promised myself last time you'd have to go.
The bruises and scrapes, I cant take no mo'.
Should I say stay or show myself the door?
Because I love you, It make me unsure.
The fact of the matter, you see this is true.
You cant dislike me and say I Love You.
You cant caress my arm then mark it blue.

So why do I stay? Don't know why I do…

Teach my boys yet they see how we be.
Respect the females, don mind your dad and mommy.
Yet they only can do what they know and see.
And the cycle continues passed on by you and me.

The Relationship Demise

I'm jus' here,
I jus' be.
So much for cohabitation,
that consists of a WE.
"WE" left itself at the front door,
I dont know what "WE" is anymo'.
Two people who share a lifetime,
I thought ,that was supposed to be divine.
I thought it was supposed to have some matter.
Sharing conversation & deep thoughts, Not jus' stranger, chit chatter.
Loving each other despite your flaws,
Instead you bitch and argue for no real cause.
The happy couple is who you portray.
When behind the walls, you a whole 'nother way.
Looks can be deceiving, when the love starts to fade.
Unfortunately a life time is lost, it's the debt you must pay.

Jus' the way its gotta be

How can this be?
Love. You. Me.
Guess it's jus the way it's gotta be.
Living together.
Yet in solidarity.
Loving a Stranger.
Unknowingly.
Each of you grow.
Yet, separately.
A bond is created.
But no unity.
Living this life.
Unintentionally.
Yet, Intentionally.
Incommunicably.
Whats to exist,
With no Harmony?
Love is present,
But it aint free.
It aint love,
Unconditionally.
And when the road forks,
and the blind eye sees.
The answer to the question,
You ask repeatedly.
Is that its,
Jus' the way its gotta be

Debility

Tellin' me,
Its amazing.
A feeling unreal,
It was crazy.
For weeks on end
I was falling.
Thought he was too
En masse...
But the weight of the stress
was heavy.
He slipped away
Inconspicuously.
No more calls
No texting.
I noticed the change.
Heartbreaking.
All of my questions
Unrefuted.
And the things I've seen
Cant dispute it.
Still I can't surrender
My hears in pieces.
Your essence.
My weakness.

drained

So how do you feel?
I dont know how i feel...
but you have to feel somethin'!
I aint got to feel nothin!

So tell me what to expect
or will I regret
Are my efforts worth it,
even jus a lil bit?

The efforts you make
Are the chance you take!
Dont put it on me
I cant forsee Destiny!

SHIT...

can we
Just let it be
So I can breathe...
Jus a lil peace, please.....

So its not me that you want?
Your freedom you jus' wana flaunt?
You dont love me that way?
What you mean, Jus go away?!?

I cant deal with the doubt, questions and stress!
I dont know anymore, I just need time to rest
Gimme some space, Damn, gimme some time
12 years of this shit, got me loosing my mind...

Or loosing my way,
not feelin my worth
I need this change
time for a rebirth.

But I love you to DEATH
I cant live without you!
I've made all these changes for better
what more can i do?
I realize now, what a jem I had
But i fucked it all up by treating you bad
I regret so much, DAMN! I neva knew
How you really felt and what I had put you through.

I dont even know if theres anything you can do
To make me feel good again, about me and you...
I can see the changes that you have made
but a couple months of change, dont make the grade

Right now i cant even focus on WE
I need to focus on me
Love me, heal me, better me
Feel... worthy.

Im sorry.

Im Fallin' (in a dream)

I'm caught in an emotion
Its somethin' I cant explain
Its somethin' i dont understand
Yet somethin' I want to remain.

The feelings you stir within me
In a life time I've never had
We haven't even met and yet
I'm wanting to be yours so bad


My every thought is of you
Plans already being made in my mind
I cant believe your in my life
A man like you is a rare find

I could talk to you all day
And dream of you all night
The vibe, the convo, the feelings
Everything just seems so right.

So until I get to taste the sweetness of your kiss
And lay next to you in your arms
Ill patiently wait all these miles away
Falling in love through our emails and phone.

Dreams

"Dreams are but nightmares, sugar coated by the heart."~Jasara

Her

I buried her deep inside
I locked her away
She can still see out
But can't scream out
Never, will she have her way.

She brings delight to the mind
And joy to the heart
Who she wants to be today
Just gets in the way.
I must remain in the cold and dark.

Trapped

I was like a prisioner who escaped from hell
well, jail.
Shit you know what I mean.
When you have been locked up
held in your patriarch's embrace
for so long......

And for that short time you were able to
Experience....
The tangible.
It was palpable, in your heart
your mind, your soul was
liberated.

Laughter came easy
And you felt...good!
At some points, phenomenal!
For once you could finally see a future
Your passions and goals, coming to life.
It all felt....right.

And through it all you are tormented
Solecism's ugly head is constant.
In your ear, beating
at your strength.
Unitl
You become broken.

Cause you see this fight
Was a first fight out of lock up for you
Hell, you didnt know what to expect, what todo.
All you knew was it felt
Right. Self Contentment, it felt good.

But holding up could only last for so long.
See the patriarch's pounding attacks
Never reliquinsh
But fight harder, grasp harder till
You are but a minut being again
Neatly placed back in your cage